Well, it’s that time of year again, to sit by my ceramic Christmas tree (since the cats would digest or destroy an artificial one) waiting for my divas to drop their new holiday music. They’ve been a bit stingy this season and left me thirsty for more than just a glass of Silknog, but the few who were in the giving mood, didn’t disappoint.
I gayly snatched up the new Donna De Lory, Madi Diaz and Holiday Sidewinder singles. Donna went old school traditional with “Silent Night” in her chill new-age style, “Kid On Christmas” is a Madi original putting the angst back in Christmas and Holiday’s “LCWARP” (available here on Bandcamp) is an echoey-acoustic version of one of my all-time favorite songs by Wham.
No full albums were to be had this year, but the Wild Fire sisters got merry and bright by offering an autographed copy of their four-song homemade Christmas CD. It’s the best holiday gift I bought myself this year so far. Here’s the link if you’d like to treat yourself like a Christmas queen. The four songs are classics (“Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”, “Last Christmas”, “Santa Baby” and “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree”) with a live vibe. A few have intros for the Winter Lights Festival, which could totally be a festival and performance you’d see in a Hallmark holiday movie.
Speaking of which, what’s a girl to do while waiting impatiently for new holiday music? This one subscribes to FrndlyTV on December 1st to get access to Lifetime and Hallmark for their cheesy holiday films. Especially when they star some of my favorite divas. Cocoa Brown uses her baking magic in “A Very Merry Beauty Salon” to help her hair salon boss/friend find love with the new wine vendor down the road; some people will do anything for discount liquor. “Holiday Mismatch” has Caroline Rhea playing a meddling mom who accidentally sets her daughter up with her frenemy’s (her “Sabrina The Teenage Witch” co-star Beth Broderick) son causing the moms to team up try and prevent a budding romance; some people will do anything to influence their children’s lives. Jennifer Love Hewitt is “The Holiday Junkie” who’s a Christmas-loving event planner hired to turn a mansion into a winter wonderland for a rich venture capitalist while falling in love with the town locals and trying not to fall in love with the holiday-hating, hot house manager; some people will do anything for a business loan.
The divas are the reason I watch all these holiday movies!
Netflix put a log or five on the fire this year with its Christmas treats. “Our Little Secret” has a double diva helping of Lindsay Lohan and Kristin Chenoweth, Lindsay plays an eager girlfriend meeting her boyfriend’s family for the first time and finding it hard to impress his high-maintenance mom, who is played perfectly by Kristin. It also wouldn’t be Christmas without some male objectification, in my gay opinion, and the stockings were definitely hung by “Hot Frosty” because who doesn’t love a chiseled snowman brought to life by a scarf and “The Merry Gentlemen” with male strippers who use their hearts of gold and other assets to help save a family’s music venue.
The reason I keep watching, is for the plots!
I also like to search out new QUILTBAG holiday films but the pickings were scarcer than my music options. The only one I found is a gay version of the 2006 Cameron Diaz classic “The Holiday” called “The Holiday Exchange” on Prime. The eye candy is good and the acting is a bit rough around the edges, but that’s part of this cheesy film’s charm. It’s about two gay guys who swap mansions (nobody is poor in Hallmarkland) for the season, in order to escape their baggage, only to find new dramas and loves in their new locals. The guys bring the rom, the ladies steal the limelight with the com, and Santa delivers the homophobia by only giving me one Christmas movie this season.
With all that being said, here’s to wishing you all the best this holiday season!
